Lean in Closer to Me
by liacin
Summary: "His warm breath ghosted over mine as he leaned in closer, only centimeters from my face. I could smell the peppermint gum he was chewing, mingling with a faint hint of fading tequila and the musky aftershave he was wearing..." AU of BIOTA.


**A/N: So this is kind of an AU version of Rachel's party during Blame It On The Alcohol. Basically, I wanted to write a truth-or-dare one-shot, but with my own spin on things. I wasn't sure about the rating, but I thought I'd give it a T as there is some cursing here and there. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are always appreciated. :)**

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><p><em>His warm breath ghosted over mine as he leaned in closer, only centimeters from my face. I could smell the peppermint gum he was chewing, mingling with a faint hint of fading tequila and the musky aftershave he was wearing. His eyes were bright hazel and glistening brightly at me, and his wet cherry lips were slightly parted.<em>

_Everything around me was fuzzy, the background sounds and images fading together into a blur of noise and color. The only things that were in focus were his shining face, his almond eyes, and those perfect lips of his._

_It was all so very, very inviting. I only had to move my head a fraction of an inch forward and his lips would be against mine. Just a few centimeters and all would be right in the world. A few centimeters separated me from the moment I had been dreaming of for months, separated me from finally kissing the man of my dreams._

_Yet I couldn't get myself to move forward. I couldn't will myself to close the gap and connect our lips. I couldn't do it. Why wouldn't I do it?_

_Maybe because it was a lie._

_Maybe because we were sitting on the floor in this dank, smelly basement with music that was too loud and air that was too hazy and people that were too drunk. Maybe because a handful of my closest friends were sitting in a circle around us, laughing and chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"_

_Maybe because I didn't want our first kiss to be at a stupid party during a stupid game of truth or dare. Maybe because I needed it to mean more than that, even if it didn't mean anything to him. I would rather never have it happen at all than have it happen like this where it would mean nothing._

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><p><strong>A few hours earlier...<strong>

"Kurt, are you sure that I'm invited to this thing? I feel like a party crasher..." Blaine spoke at me expectantly as he slung a maroon cardigan over his shoulders.

"Please, I'm inviting you. Besides, everybody adores you, Blaine. I'm sure no one will mind," I answered in return, slinging a black skinny tie across my collar.

"It's not gonna be weird though, right, me just showing up with you?" he asked again before adding, "Black or brown?" after holding up two belts.

"Brown. Always match what shoes you're wearing. And yes, for the millionth time, it's totally fine. I want you to meet everybody anyway." I smiled at him reassuringly before pulling on my black combat boots.

"Alright then," he smiled at me calmly, finally reassured. "You ready to roll, buddy?"

_Buddy._ _Great._ I cringed internally at his overly platonic choice of words before forcing a smile.

"Yep. Let's do it." _ Ha, I wish._

Roughly twenty minutes and one goofy car-ride filled with far too much Disney music later and we pulled up in front of Rachel's house. Bright yellow lights streamed through the windows illuminating the darkened streets, and you could hear a slight overabundance of pop music fading its way from inside.

I yanked open the door, not bothering to knock as the party was clearly in full swing, and headed down to the basement where I knew the party was being held, towing Blaine behind me. Is it stupid that my dumb heart skipped a beat when I grabbed his hand to lead him downstairs with me?

"Kuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrt! You made it...here!" Rachel's slightly screechy voice cut through the air, somehow overpowering even the music. "And you brought Blaine with you. Blainey Blaine. You're so preeettty."

Okay, clearly the alcohol had already been heavily doled out. Rachel was lying on the ground giggiling uncontrollably, making imaginary snow angels into the carpet next to Finn, who just looked confused and slightly amused. Tina and Mercedes were huddled in one corner on the couch crowded around someone's iPhone, laughing at what seemed to be a particularly intriguing YouTube video. A handful of boys were screaming at each other as they played an epic round of Call of Duty, occasionally punching each other in various places. Santana was busy swallowing most of Sam's lips and about 3/4 of his face as they vigorously made out at the opposite end of the couch where Tina and Mercedes sat. And finally Quinn, Lauren, and Brittany were at the bar pouring a round of shots.

"Hey guys," Quinn called from the bar, "Tequila?"

"I'm good, thanks. I need to drive home later. You go ahead, Blaine." I answered quickly, not wanting to get drunk and make a fool out of myself in front of the guy that I was only slightly in love with.

Blaine's eyes seem to light up and then darken at the word "Tequila," and I could feel him internally struggling over something.

"Uhh... Alright... But don't let me have anymore than like three. I've sort of got a thing for tequila, and I don't want to get too carried away tonight. Drunk Blaine tends to embarrass me just a bit..." he trailed off meekly, running one hand across the back of his neck.

"Don't worry, Blaine. I'll keep an eye on you. If you make an ass of yourself I'll be sure to film it and blackmail you with it tomorrow," I spoke, winking at him.

"Thanks. You're such a great friend..." he answered back sarcastically.

There was that stupid word again. Friend. Buddy. Comrade. Mate. Blaine was a really cool guy, and a blast to hang out with. He was one of my closest friends, there was no doubt about that, but I couldn't help but die a little inside each time he reminded me of the fact that we were just friends.

I don't get it... I'm cute. I'm fun. I'm smart. I'm witty. I have a penis. What am I missing that a fellow gay man like Blaine would want? What did that stupid Jeremiah have that I didn't, other than way too much wavy blonde hair?

I tried to shove the negative energy away from me and focus enjoying the party as I watched Blaine down a third shot of tequila.

"Alright, I think we're good for now. Don't you, Blaine? Why don't you come sit down with me over there.." I asked while pointing to a love seat across the room opposite the bar. It was still early and I could sense him going in for a fourth shot, so I thought I would politely steer him somewhere else for the time being.

He just beamed up at me and smiled, tugging my arm as he waved goodbye to the ladies at the bar and walked towards the small couch. I could see that he was mildly inebriated, but he eyes still looked sharp and lucid, rather than hazy and dopey, so I knew that he was only mildly buzzed off the tequila.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight, Kurt. I think I need to expand my social horizons a bit. Dalton is a little... stiff... when it comes to this kind of thing. The Warblers don't exactly know how to cut loose, you know?"

"Anytime, Blaine. Honestly, I'd be a little left out without you, seeing how everyone is coupled up all the time with these guys. It's nice to finally have a plus one..." I trailed off, realizing how that sounded and tried to backpeddle, "I mean, not that we're a couple or anything. I just mean like, it's nice to not be alone."

Blaine smiled across at me and reached out for my hand, placing his smaller one inside mine. "Yeah. I know what you mean."

I looked down at our hands and tried not to blush, my heart beating in my chest again. As quickly as he had placed it there the hand was gone, and I couldn't help but let a small amount of disappointment creep inside my chest at the loss of contact.

"Hey, are you okay? You looked sort of sad there for a minute," Blaine inquired, his eyebrows narrowing together in concern.

You've got to be kidding me. I've been in love with this guy forever, pining away for months, and he hasn't noticed a damn thing. Now, today of all days, with three shots of tequila in him, he starts to get perceptive.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said with what had to be a fake-looking smile.

"No, what's wrong, Kurt? We're friends, you can talk to me."

My eyes uncontrollably cringed as soon as he said the word "friend" and I knew he noticed it this time.

"Did...did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me or something?" he spoke, sounding more and more worried.

His honey-colored eyes were looking at me with such sincerity, such earnestness, that I wanted to blurt everything out right then.

_Everything is wrong, Blaine. I'm in love with you and I have been since you first held my hand on the staircase all those months ago. I'm in love with you and you can't seem to notice me. I'm in love with you and you'll never love me back. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks._

But I didn't say that. I chickened out, knowing that I couldn't handle the rejection that I would receive, the pitying smile and the "You're such a great friend, Kurt, but I don't see you that way" remark.

"I'm just tired of being single, I guess," I answered instead. A partial truth.

"Hey. The right person is out there, you just have to find him," he tried to reassure me, but this only made me feel worse. _Yeah, the right person is right in front of me, but apparently he hasn't woken up and realized that it's him I'm waiting for._

"Listen, Blaine..."

My sentence was interrupted as we were both forcibly dragged up from the couch by Rachel and Tina, who both cackled loudly as someone else in the room shouted "TRUUTH OR DAAAARE."

"What are we, in middle school?" I said as I was plopped down on the floor next to Blaine, the rest of our friends sitting next to us, forming a lazy circle.

"Come on - you're never too old to ask your friends embarrassing questions or make them do stupid things." Mercedes spoke from across the circle.

"Okay. Oldest asks first. Quinn, that's you." Rachel chimed in.

"Uhh... Santana, truth or dare?" Quinn spoke inquisitively, her eyes boring into Santana with a bit too much intensity.

"Psh, Dare. Come on."

"Okay, I dare you to kiss Brittany."

A fraction of a second went by, and Santana was already lunged across the circle at Brittany, kissing her somewhat heatedly. Someone cleared their throat uncomfortably, and the two girls pulled apart from each other.

"You call that a dare? Make it something challenging next time," she spoke with an all-too-familiar grin on her face, "Alright. My turn now. Warbler, Truth or Dare?"

Blaine swallowed a little loudly before glancing at me briefly and then mumbling "Truth..."

"Aww, lame sauce. Okay. Tell me... What's a guy like you look for in another guy?" As she finished asking, her eyes shot over to me, silently letting me know that she was asking this for my benefit.

Blaine blushed to a light crimson before he finally spoke. "I couldn't really tell you. I know that's a stupid answer, but I'm much more about the individual then a set of standards. When I meet the right guy, I'll know it I guess. I just want someone that I can connect with, someone that understands me... someone that I can love," as he finished, he blushed to a very deep crimson this time, realizing that he had answered this question in a very personal way to a group of people he didn't know very well.

My heart sank, though, at his answer. _When I meet the right guy, I'll know it I guess. _Well Blaine, you've met me. I guess I'm not the right guy for you after all.

Blaine seemed to move on from the question and ask Rachel about her most embarrassing dating experience, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to really pay any attention. Until my name came up.

"Kurt, I said truth or dare..." Rachel asked again.

I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to reveal anything.

"Dare." I answered without hesitation. What could she possibly dare me to do that would be more humiliating than having to listen to Blaine answer that question?

"I dare you to kiss Blaine." Okay, so maybe that. Rachel, I kind of hate you right now.

I didn't know what to do. I was stuck. If I kissed Blaine, it would ruin everything. Our first kiss would be meaningless, just a part of some stupid childish game that I didn't want to play in the first place. If I didn't kiss Blaine, he would know something was up. He would know that I liked him. But... if I kissed him... then I would be _kissing_ Blaine. Despite the consequences, the prospect of getting to feel his lips against mine, even momentarily, even as a part of some stupid dare, even as something entirely unreal, would still be a kiss, to me at least.

I looked over at him, my eyes swimming with a handful of different emotions, trying to read the expression on his face. He was looking at me with a dangerous amount of focus, his eyes digging down into my soul, reaching for an answer to something.

I looked across at him, let out a deep breath, and nodded the tiniest of nods.

So then he leaned in.

And here I am, my mouth so close to Blaine's that I can practically taste him already.

Here I am, about to kiss Blaine Anderson. About to change everything.

Except I couldn't do it. I couldn't let it happen. Not this way.

So I ran. Without saying a word, I shot up from the floor and bolted from the room, refusing to look back. I rushed up the stairs, through the living room, and out onto the frigid porch, the cool air rushing through my veins in a fluid blast.

I felt hot tears pour down my cheeks and I didn't bother to stop them as I buried my face into my kneecaps. This wasn't supposed to happen. Now Blaine knew that I liked him, and he'd probably feel too weird to be my friend anymore. He'd probably never want to see me again.

A warm hand cascaded across my shoulder and down my arm as I felt a body shift down next to me on the front steps.

"Kurt... can we talk about this?" Blaine's voice was so small, so tentative, so afraid, that I had to look up at him.

He looked wounded. I couldn't understand why. I let him continue.

"You didn't have to, you know. I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable for you. It's just a stupid game. It doesn't mean anything."

That was it. Enough of this.

"Of course it means something, Blaine. It means everything! God dammit, don't you get it? Don't you understand how I feel about you? Can't you see the way I look at you? I've tried so hard not to like you, Blaine, but you're just so fucking perfect that how could I resist? And I know we're just friends and I know that you probably feel totally awkward now and I didn't want to tell you but I just can't hold it in any longer..." I let it out in a big, tear-filled burst, not bothering to cover up the emotion in my voice anymore. Finally it was all out in the open.

"Wait... what?" Blaine looked at me, genuinely confused. "You didn't want to kiss me just then because... you like me...? But I thought it was because you _didn't_ like me that way..." Blaine stared off into space, pure shock crossing his features.

I couldn't say anything.

"Oh, Kurt..." was all he said before he captured my lips with his. Nothing in my sixteen years of existence could have prepared me for the feeling of Blaine Anderson's lips against my own. It was pure emotion, pure affection. Every love song every written, every Shakespearean sonnet, was captured in the heat of that kiss. His lips moved tenderly against my own like they were made to fit there, and his hands draped lightly around my waist, pulling me in closer to him. I was electric. I was alive. I was on fire. His lips parted ever-so-slightly, and I carefully danced my tongue across his bottom lip very briefly before I reluctantly pulled away, the oxygen to my brain depleting and my mind starting to turn fuzzy.

"You have... no idea... how long... I've wanted... to do that for." I spoke between gaspy breaths.

"I reckon since that first moment on the staircase? Because that's how long I've wanted to kiss you for," he answered for me.

_Wait. What?_ "Come again?"

"Yeah. I've had a huge thing for you from the start. I just didn't think you liked me back. Didn't think I was your type. You always seemed so confident and aloof that I didn't think I stood a chance," he spoke before letting a huge grin envelop his face.

"You've got to be kidding me. What is this, a romantic comedy? You mean we've been dancing around each other for FOUR months. You're telling me we could have been doing this for FOUR MONTHS now?" I spoke with bitter irony, trying to evaporate the never-ending blush that kept attacking my cheeks and wouldn't go away.

"Well.. better make up for lost time, then," he spoke heatedly before kissing me once more.

I'd have to remember to thank Rachel for this later.


End file.
